Wow, I never thought i'd ever be making one of these, Im always so anti-writing about my life because I guess that means people can read it and I guess I feel like they would be meddling into my own personal business. So, here we go?
I turn 22 in 2 days, its royally been scaring the crap out of me, I look at my life and where all my friends are and I seem so far behind. 3 years ago I would never have imagined myself where I am, haha I mean I am working at a car dealership, but looking back 2 years ago, i've acompished and grown so much, I hardly even recognize myself. 2010 has been nothing but a wonderful life changing eye-opener, after years of wallowing around in self pity I finally can say, i've matured, I look back a year ago and the people I was surrounding myself in, and realized wow, i'm so glad I got out of that, they we're people who had no plans for their future and though I do wish the best for them, seem more at a stand still in their lives. I've acceived more of a greatfulness (is that a word??...oh well) for the wonderful people I have in my life, and can finally give 100% to my friendships, and I think it is finally showing. I cannot thank my wonderful parents and little brother enough for being with me through everything, and wow, did I put them through enough, its about time I start giving back. I've been so selfish, and have hurt a lot of people, and lost them cause of my own pride, and i'm very lucky for the ones that never gave up on me or judged me when I was at my worst. I guess I can say Oklahoma was a huge eye opener for me, It made me realize how I was living my life, and it was a 'now or never' choice I had to make, I could either keep living like I was, and keep going down hill, or make a change, and now trust me, im not looking back. I've gotten myself in enough trouble as it is, and thinking back, it wasnt at all worth it, but I did learn some valuble lessons. I'm glad to see what 2010 brings, and finally except what it has to offer, because lets face it, Life is what happens, when your busy making other plans.
Darcy-
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful blog site!! You are such a wonderful young woman. You truly have grown a lot. I am so excited to be with you and see how you continue to grow in the years to come. Love you lots.
Dad
Darcy
ReplyDeleteWow! I love that you have a blog, for one because I love mine so much! + It gives me a chance to talk and also feel like I'm still connected to my friends and family that are so far away from me. Darcy I hope you know that even though I was a butt hole for a while there you were always a friend to me in my heart & no matter what had gone on between us, I no doubt in my mind would have, flown drove, walked my tail to arizona if you needed me. Honnest to goodness.
I'm glad that you are happier and feeling like you are finding your path in life :) It makes my heart swell. I just feel like I should tell you that I too have made allot of stupid & hard decisons in the last two years, I've been a jerk, I've been extremely selfish and just downright mean. I know you haven't been around me allot lately but to tell you the truth i'm glad you weren't in some ways, because I was so miserable I would have just brought you down & you would not have been able to recognize me as the Autumn that you knew at all. Honnest.
2010 so far as been a great turn around for me. I can now say that I am an active church goer as of one month. I teach primary to little five year olds and it is so much fun to play with them and teach them simple but to the point truths. Also I am no longer spending money like I have it to burn. Not having the most expensive things and not having the constant feeling that I need more is great too. I am not yelling or taking out my problems on my husband. I am not pregant which feels awesome & I'm losing weight (yay!)
I am at a realization that I was an ugly person to many people and that It was hurtful. I'm trying to make up for it. I've found that stepping outside of youself and helping others makes you forget about your own problems and makes life worth living.
I applaud you darcy for being so brave and living you life differently. Change is good isint it? but oh so hard.
sorry for longest post of you life lol I just needed to get that out.
ps. How did it feel when you sold you first horse? Cause it hurt like hades for me.
Just a random thought.
selling horses was never easy for me, I was in a bind and put holly up for sell, after I got my first call for her, literally broke down and yelled at the person who called and took her off craigslist lol, never again will I attempt such a thing.
ReplyDeletesmart woman. can't say I was so smart, if I could I would re-do what happend. It makes me sad all the time. do you have regrets like that? Hey how was your day by the way?
ReplyDeletetommorrow is your birthday... so exciting :) I remember the first bithday I ever celebrated with you, you were turning 17! my how time flys :)